Saturday, April 12, 2014

Getting There (poem)

I am drowning in consciousness.
Who was the fool that said we
should be awake for our lives?
It’s all weedy lawns and empty sugar bowls.
I am so awake I can watch my brain
Knead dough, that mess of memory, synapses,
Gray quantum, this way and that, trying
Hard to make it “right.” I am good. I am smart.
I am healthy. I am not to blame. I am not the idiot
Everyone knows me to be. But the transparency
Of the mechanics is making me insane. Literally.
This is how it starts. Losing it. In wakefulness.
What a joke. We think we want to lose the lie,
but it’s the truth we want to bury .
Nirvana isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.
The truth is a lie that’s’s been raped, pummeled and
Made to walk backwards until its feet bleed.
When you can go no further,
You know you have arrived.

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